10 Things Every Adult Should Know
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Sometimes it's hard to come up with a full-length, balls-to-the-wall rant, but a lot of "too long for Twitter, too short for a whole post" ideas float in and out of my head all the time. Here's 10 things every adult really ought to know, but a lot of people are apparently just too fucking stupid to figure out:
- Having sex can cause pregnancy. This one seems too obvious to mention, but judging from the number of accidental children in the world, I thought it bore repeating. Nothing is 100% effective against pregnancy except abstinence, or the removal of your ovaries or testicles. (Incidentally, abortion is still legal in the US and most of Europe, just in case.)
- If you cover your face with piercing jewelry, you may not be able to find a job. This also goes for doing weird things to your hair, and getting tattoos in conspicuous places. And for fuck's sake, don't give me any bullshit about "freedom of expression", you little dumbass. You go right ahead and express yourself all you want, but body modification is not a constitutionally protected belief system. They can't not hire you for being a Jew, but they certainly can not hire you for looking like a fucking freak. (caveat: I have both piercings and tattoos … nothing against tattoos, piercings or fucking freaks. Just don't whine about it when you're treated like one.)
- It's 2008. Racism is seriously outdated. That means, yes Virginia, it is TOTALLY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE to refer to that black guy on TV as a "junglebunny." Also, don't use the word "they" as though black folks are some separate species who all think and act the same way.
They're"They" are humans, not dogs. And do I really need to remind you that "nigger" is a bad word?! Here's a nice rule of thumb for you, dearie: If you wouldn't say it to a black person's face, you probably shouldn't be saying it at all. (For those of you who really don't get it, this also applies to spics, pakis, chinks, gooks,jewskikes, towelheads, gringos and anyone else you care to slander.) - Spontaneous anal sex often involves small amounts of feces. Yes, yes it does. This point is mainly aimed at straight guys, who seem to have a frighteningly widespread lack of understanding on this issue. If you want your backdoor action all nice and sanitary, you need to plan ahead. Buy a little something called an anal douche, and find a way to gracefully suggest she use it before bed if you want a little booty nookie. If you just swap holes in the middle of the action, without such careful forethought, things often get messy … because guys, it's a butt, and [big secret]there's poop in there[/big secret]. And as long as we're on the subject of anal …
- Anal sex does not make you gay. Again, for the benefit of you straight boys. Even if you secretly want your girlfriend to bend you over with a strap on, it's OK. You're not gay. You know why? Because you want to be assfucked by a girl, not a boy. That's what the whole "gay" thing is about: Liking boys instead of girls. Anal sex is irrelevant. [added]I am a straight white female … and fwiw, I have never given it to anyone with a strap-on. I just also happen to NOT be an ignorant homophobic twat.[/added]
- Marijuana is not a "gateway drug". Oh sure, maybe 99% of "hard" drug users also smoke pot. And maybe a lot of them smoked pot before they got into crack or heroin or whatever. But that's not because the pot made them do it, it's because damn near fucking everyone has smoked pot at some point.
- Creationism is bullshit. Seriously. A big magic guy in the clouds did not wiggle his fingers and create the earth in 6 days. Didn't fucking happen. And I think anyone who professes to believe such a thing ought to be barred from political office. What if there was a religion claiming the world was flat, and the whole "round" thing was just an optical illusion created by God to test our faith? Would ANYONE be suggesting we teach it in schools? Would anyone vote for a politician who claimed to believe it? For fuck's sake, people. It's 2008. We have fossils. We have carbon dating. Get a clue!
- You have no right to be proud, unless you did it yourself. That goes for anything from racial pride to patriotism. Your race, gender and nationality are fucking accidents of birth. Being proud of something you got stuck with when mamma squeezed you out is stupid. You have a right to be proud of your own personal accomplishments, and perhaps those of your children (if you were actually a good parent, and your kids didn't succeed by sheer bloody-mindedness alone). That's it. Your parents fucked, Mom got knocked up, and ~9 months later, there you were. Race, gender and nationality handed to you out of some cosmic lottery machine. Fuck your white pride, black pride, national pride, and all the horseshit that goes along with it.
- Police and Politicians have a lot in common. Maybe half of them go into their chosen careers wanting to genuinely do good. Save people, and make the world a better place and all that. The other half are greedy, power-hungry fucks. And the good half? After a few years on the job, most of them have become so corrupted and/or insulated from the real world, they become vicious, rotten twats too. You can't trust 90% of either of 'em.
- America is not #1. Well, not unless you count military spending and handgun related deaths. We're shit at public education. Our health care system is both the most expensive and the least effective in the developed world. Literacy, infant mortality, per capita living below the poverty line and/or without any health insurance … etc., etc. We're kind of horrible at a whole lot of things, if you want to be honest about it. We're also, on average, fat as fuck.
You Sir, are a hero.
21st February 2008 at 9:19 pm | permalink |Let me be the first to say; bravo.
21st February 2008 at 10:12 pm | permalink |Very funny list. I think the poop during anal sex misconception comes mostly from people who watch a lot of porn and perform very little actual anal sex.
21st February 2008 at 10:28 pm | permalink |As a guy ou got a girlfriend who got pregnant while i was dating her…But wasn't the father. I can actually say that having a baby without wanting it is the worst of them all…And i would say that the real father is probably thinking the same as me…and probably more than me..
21st February 2008 at 10:41 pm | permalink |"Also, don't use the word "they"…_They're_ humans, not dogs."
Who is humans not dogs?
21st February 2008 at 10:46 pm | permalink |This is one of the web's most interesting stories on Fri 22nd Feb 2008…
These are the web's most talked about URLs on Fri 22nd Feb 2008. The current winner is …..
21st February 2008 at 11:07 pm | trackback from purrl.net |** urls that purr **|I nominate the author, alphabitch, for President of the World! As a fat American fuck I want someone who 'gets it' to be my proxy in government. Yay!
21st February 2008 at 11:09 pm | permalink |Love it. Great article. Straight and to the point with just the right amount of sass.
21st February 2008 at 11:11 pm | permalink |Hilarious!! But VERY true.
22nd February 2008 at 12:00 am | permalink |What can I say, you speak the truth. The only tiff I have with you is there is no such thing as a bad word, just an inappropriate word.
22nd February 2008 at 12:01 am | permalink |Loved your rant; however, you're going to have to fix the healtcare part. expensive, yes. bad, NO.
22nd February 2008 at 12:19 am | permalink |there's a reason there is a popular joke on "british teeth" (i.e. austin powers). social medicine just doesnt work in practice. it sounds great but overall human greed doesnt allow it anywhere in the world.
in #3 you refer to colored people as they which you point out is ignorant in the same breath.
oh, and you're retarded.
22nd February 2008 at 12:23 am | permalink |Nice list, but #2 is lame. Smart people look beyond all that.
22nd February 2008 at 12:30 am | permalink |Right on bro!! Right on. I agree 100%. I wish there were more of us.
22nd February 2008 at 12:37 am | permalink |Cute. Was writing that fun for you?
22nd February 2008 at 12:49 am | permalink |Well said my man… well said!
22nd February 2008 at 1:04 am | permalink |Unfortunately, there are far too many people who still think the earth is flat. 1 in 4 americans still believe the sun revolves around the earth, and only 18% believe in natural evolution (without any interference from god)
22nd February 2008 at 1:19 am | permalink |I nominate this blog as the single most immature site in existence. Grow up!
22nd February 2008 at 1:46 am | permalink |Awesome post. Had a look round and I love this site! Have subscribed to your RSS feed.
22nd February 2008 at 2:01 am | permalink |all good points … like the way its been slapped onto our faces …
22nd February 2008 at 2:02 am | permalink |you got talent brother …
Sir, I bow to your insight and honesty. This is an awesome post, especially the section about being proud.
22nd February 2008 at 2:14 am | permalink |you're so right
it was a mind orgasm to read
22nd February 2008 at 3:25 am | permalink |"Also, don't use the word 'they' as though black folks are some separate species who all think and act the same way. They're humans, not dogs."
My brain asplodeth
22nd February 2008 at 3:27 am | permalink |Hi,
1) which stupid idiot ignores that?
2) maybe in a piercing studio you will get one.
3) I like black people but they call themselves niggers so why shouldn't we?
4) shit happens, so what?
5)of course anal sex doesn't make you gay –> if you practice it with a woman.
6) I totally agree on that.
7) Who is god anyway… he only exists because still some retards believe in him! You can pe a good person without believing in god… you can be an evil person without believing in satan :-)
8) agree on that.
9) agree on that.
10) also agree :-)
Bye
22nd February 2008 at 3:45 am | permalink |A very atheistic Hallelujah! I would dugg it had I an account, but I found the article on reddit.
22nd February 2008 at 3:57 am | permalink |This is a f*cking sweet article. It's what I've been trying to tell some c*nts for years!
22nd February 2008 at 4:11 am | permalink |Dude… you're #1 on Reddit!
22nd February 2008 at 4:22 am | permalink |This must be what people think when they spend 99% of their time on Reddit. Not bad, but don't let Reddit narrow your perspective…
22nd February 2008 at 4:27 am | permalink |Brilliant.
22nd February 2008 at 4:32 am | permalink |Thanks for that! Real stuff there. I would add under "…no right to be proud…" a mention of all these sports psychotics who are convinced that they, personally, win when their team does. You didn't win anything, dumbshit - other people did, the ones you cheer for. And that's to say nothing of the other mouth-breathers who take it one step further and beat up people who cheer for, oh my god, another team! Beating up people from another team will not help your team win. You need to suit up and be on the field for that. It's complicated, I know.
22nd February 2008 at 4:42 am | permalink |Looks like someone likes it up the ass.
22nd February 2008 at 4:45 am | permalink |I find it hard to say this from reading only one entry on a strangers blog, but I will: I agree with every point you said.
Fuck yeah.
22nd February 2008 at 4:48 am | permalink |Go read Maddox's "The best page in the universe" for a lesson on how to make ranting funny. There is more to it besides just putting "fuck" in the sentence.
22nd February 2008 at 4:57 am | permalink |I agree with the whole thing except the part about being proud of where you're born and to whom. I think that I have as much right to be proud of my parents and grandparents accomplishments, and therefore their genes, and therefore my genes, as I have the right to be proud of myself.
22nd February 2008 at 5:03 am | permalink |[...] That's deep. Kids remember, it's important to spread deep thoughts like these. Speaking of deep thoughts, I can highly suggest reading this article. [...]
22nd February 2008 at 5:04 am | trackback from ATM Machine: Feed me a stray cat. « Yet another cute B/W-Color BlogI couldn't possibly agree with you more. I mean, it would literally be impossible. It's like you've pulled the thoughts from my mind. What kind of black magic voodoo is this?!
22nd February 2008 at 5:06 am | permalink |#10: your comment to waepons/ guns..are very naiv. Read Sigmund Freund to find the connection between sexual maturity and the fear about guns. ;) So it make me a bit laugh when you say something about public education etc.. but anyway there are some tue points in your post. best regards from germany
22nd February 2008 at 10:35 am | permalink |HERE HERE!!!
22nd February 2008 at 10:44 am | permalink |What a minute..back up…beep beep beep, do you have the gale to say that common sense, general intellect and personal responsibility are things Americans should have….How dare you sir, how dare you indeed!!!
I live in the extremely open minded South where a man knows that more God and guns can solve anything and find your spewing of rational logic to be vulgar and downright ludicrous.
Okay, no more sarcasm, the funny thing is that if you stood on a pulpit and told them common truths along with so many others that people refuse to see, you would be labeled a crazy man. What the fuck happened to America…its gets dumber everyday and is proud of it.
22nd February 2008 at 12:04 pm | permalink |So "jews" is a racial slur on par with "spics, pakis, chinks, gooks, towelheads" and "niggers?" FUCK YOU, asshole.
22nd February 2008 at 12:06 pm | permalink |"Anal sex does not make you gay" -
22nd February 2008 at 12:25 pm | permalink |Sorry, but if you want to have a penis (or a plastic replica) inserted in your rectum, you are probably gay. (You are certainly not straight.) No that there is anything wrong with being gay…
Wow. Big huge flood of comments. Thanks for taking the time, everyone! Here's a few thoughts in return:
@Jose: "british teeth" … yeah, dental care isn't so great maybe, but at least a woman in the UK who accidentally gets pregnant doesn't have to figure out how to scrape together $700+ for an abortion.
@Smarter than you: "in #3 you refer to colored people as they which you point out is ignorant in the same breath." Sorry … should have put "they" in quotes like that, so you slow folks could follow the irony.
"oh, and you're retarded." Touché! Or, should I perhaps say, "Touché!"
@Dustin Diaz: "Was writing that fun for you?" Yes. Yes it was.
@Uzair: Actually, I don't really spend any time on Reddit.
@Phthalo Blue wrote: "all these sports psychotics who are convinced that they, personally, win when their team does. You didn't win anything, dumbshit" Very good point. I don't know how I forgot that! :-)
@DeathDestruct: "Looks like someone likes it up the ass." Yeah, but I'm a girl, so it doesn't make me gay. ;-)
@Vinny: "I think that I have as much right to be proud of my parents and grandparents accomplishments, and therefore their genes …" I agree you can be proud of someone else's accomplishments if you care about them, but I'd draw the line at passing that on to yourself because of them, if you see what I mean.
@Patrick: So "jews" is a racial slur …" Wow. Patrick you are totally right. Seriously. My bad. I'll change it to "kikes" instead. (No, really, I'm not kidding on this one.)
@George: "… if you want to have a penis (or a plastic replica) inserted in your rectum, you are probably gay." If you want to have a penis inserted in your rectum, you might be gay or bi. If you want to have a girl insert a plastic replica in there, you're definitely not. Sorry pal.
22nd February 2008 at 3:15 pm | permalink |I always understood that the "six days" that the Earth was created in weren't very literal. In fact the bible goes lenghts to say that they aren't. Funny how the vast majority of people are stupid and believe that science is wrong, but the esablished scientific theories that are clear are clearly backed up by biblical refrence.
Oh. And it never said the Earth was flat. In fact, it calls it a sphere. Wonder.
22nd February 2008 at 5:06 pm | permalink |You know, I never realized that there might be poop in a butt. Thanks for the PSA!!! ;)
22nd February 2008 at 5:10 pm | permalink |America is number 1, you're dead wrong about that. I don't see people dying to sneek into Nigeria and if they do it's only because they couldn't get to America.
Creationism doesn't just mean the world was made in 6 days. It can also mean God made everything in 6 billion years, so define your terms.
Another one to add to your list. When you make lists, someone's probably going to have a problem with all or part of it.
22nd February 2008 at 5:16 pm | permalink |fun fact, taking a dick in the ass, either plastic or real, makes you a faggot
22nd February 2008 at 5:20 pm | permalink |Lame.
The angst of a high-school essay– but without the insight.
22nd February 2008 at 5:26 pm | permalink |@randumb: Well, I didn't say the bible said the earth was flat … um. So I'm not sure what your point is there.
@larry: Always glad to help folks out like that!
@james: "When you make lists, someone's probably going to have a problem with all or part of it." Yeah, and the great thing is, I don't give a fuck! :-D
@lol: You sir, are an ignorant homophobic twat. :-)
22nd February 2008 at 5:30 pm | permalink |fuckin a man.
22nd February 2008 at 5:55 pm | permalink |Just to save myself some time, anyone who hates this site or it's author can kiss my ass. Also, reddit.com is a poor mans digg.com o_O
22nd February 2008 at 5:56 pm | permalink |If you want anything in your butt you are for sure gay especially if you want a item resembeling a penis period you may have some experiance in this but their is truly onley one way of living to be straight and that excludes anything to do with a mans but.
22nd February 2008 at 6:01 pm | permalink |Why is being proud of an inborn trait wrong? It's the most natural thing in the world. People are proud of thier shiny hair, or their ability to run fast, or thier way with words. Good looking people are proud of their appearence and smart people proud of their quickness of mind. It's the most natural thing in the world.
Your whole world view seems like something that emerged from the liberal left which is itself a descendant of the destructive tenets of Communism. The list is half brilliant and half utter shit.
22nd February 2008 at 6:03 pm | permalink |I agree with everything except your point about pride.
Why should someone not be proud they're a dumbfuck?
22nd February 2008 at 6:04 pm | permalink |Hi,
I don't agree with everything you said, but that's my problem. In stead I'd like to say that most (not all) of these are indeed opinions rather than facts (as noted on the buttsex issue, with which I happen to agree, and other comments on it).
Furthermore I sincerely hope that all the writers of comments stating total agreement came to the same conclusions via their own reasoning, and that this is not yet another example of conforming to non-conformity. It's too often that people read an article and "totally agree" with it just because it oposes the norm and/or didn't think it through.
About America not being number 1: Hell yeah! I'm from South Africa and I know it's bad here. But when I leave I'm sure as shit not coming to your hell-hole.
22nd February 2008 at 6:12 pm | permalink |Wow, I agree with every single point. The level of profanity kinda of detracts from the message, to me (watch me say fuck again! oooooo!), but I think you're right on every single one.
It's the comments that are sad. Like the "America IS number 1 and God DID create the earth" guy. Man, your vote counts just as much as mine? And there are lots more of you? We're doomed as a species.
I just loved all these points. Thanks for a great list. You are not the only one who has thought each of these things. But I think there's, like, nine of us in all. And we're mostly on the coasts.
22nd February 2008 at 6:13 pm | permalink |Lol. just noticed the URL for this site. Profanity appears to be the POINT. Shame on me for just coming from reddit and not looking. Never mind.
22nd February 2008 at 6:15 pm | permalink |hahah terrorist! :)
22nd February 2008 at 6:16 pm | permalink |@justin: "onley one way of living to be straight and that excludes anything to do with a mans but." You poor, ignorant bastard. :-)
@Chris: "Why should someone not be proud they're a dumbfuck?" Well, yes. I guess I could make an exception for that.
@Walter: "… when I leave I'm sure as shit not coming to your hell-hole." Cheers! The rest of the world can't believe the hype forever.
@Marc: "Shame on me for just coming from reddit and not looking." At least you did notice it eventually! ;-)
22nd February 2008 at 6:37 pm | permalink |Another retart who thinks he knows all…thanks and before you talk why dont you just save us all and just bash ur head against the wall :-) k?
22nd February 2008 at 8:26 pm | permalink |I like how you say you are against racism but then go on to promote drugs and bash the religious. You are a fucking cocksucker.
22nd February 2008 at 8:33 pm | permalink |i agree with all u say especially # 10 you hit the nail on the head sir !
22nd February 2008 at 8:45 pm | permalink |sorry America is #1
22nd February 2008 at 8:48 pm | permalink |1. Duh.
2. Duh, who does that anyway? Only retards with no self-respect.
3. So retarded, keep your agenda to yourself.
4. Duh.
5. Duh.
6. Duh.
7. Duh.
8. Again, stop talking about your political beliefs as if they were fact. Would you say the same about blacks proud of their culture or feminists, or your "no pride" rule is only for white men? Hypocrite.
9. Duh.
10. Duh.
I wouldn't call this "facts of life" as much as I would call it a silly, opinionated list.
22nd February 2008 at 9:20 pm | permalink |Rude, but true.
22nd February 2008 at 9:25 pm | permalink |I'm sure you don't fucking care what I have to say but I'll fucking say it anyway.
You are fucking great!!!
Linked over from digg and am quite glad to have found at least a small existence of humans that have more then shit for brains.
Just curious though…. how dose one "gracefully suggest" the use of an anal douche?!?
22nd February 2008 at 9:36 pm | permalink |Racism is one thing, but let's not fail to accurately observe the world around us. When is the last time you saw an upper-middle class predominately black neighborhood? Oh right never… If you find a predominately black neighborhood you find a lot of crime, a lot of drug addicts, and a lot of black people that can accurately be described as niggers. Unfortunately, those kind of black people form an overwhelming majority in the U.S. Occasionally I do meet a good, honest, hard working black person that makes me re-think my opinion of the black race. Unfortunately, it is always short lived. For that one good honest black person there are hundreds of others ready to reinforce the idea that blacks are truly a race of niggers, thugs, and gangsters. I take each person on their own merits, but let's be honest when it comes to the black race. They are disproportionately represented in our prison system because as a group they commit more crimes. As a group they are considerably less educated than whites or Asians. The majority of black children grow up without a father figure because as a whole black men are less responsible than men of other races. I think a racist is someone who is prejudiced against a race regardless of the facts. Even though I'm sure many think I'm a racist, I didn't start off with the premise that blacks are an inferior race. I looked at the evidence and came to that overwhelming conclusion.
22nd February 2008 at 9:46 pm | permalink |I LOVE this list, to the point of printing it out and sticking it on my bedroom wall. Unfortunately though, there will always be people in this world who will remain completely oblivious to anything you say or suggest to them.
There will always be people who claim there is a God even though every proof under the sun shows otherwise.
There will always be people who believe "blacks" are the lowest form of life on the planet, or that homosexuals don't deserve squat in relation to married folk.
It's absurd and it's bullshit, but it's life. I wish more people were like you. Have a good one.
22nd February 2008 at 9:49 pm | permalink |I laughed up until the creationism part. I also read some of your comments, you throw out the word "ignorant" a lot for being an ignorant piece of shit yourself. Just because you don't believe in God doesn't mean the people who do are ignorant or lack intelligence. No, most cops are not corrupt and no, there is nothing wrong with pride in being a U.S. citizen. You obviously don't know what pride is and I'm willing to bet you can't back up a lot of the shit you're spewing.
22nd February 2008 at 9:58 pm | permalink |Great article - you could be the next Penn and Teller scriptwriter…
22nd February 2008 at 10:22 pm | permalink |Best freakin' article I think I have EVER read on the Internet. Like, ever. You should be damned proud of this.
Heads-up to all readers: the more this offends you, then the more you really need to read it.
22nd February 2008 at 10:34 pm | permalink |this is pretty fucking stupid.
i mean is this supposed to be wise or funny or what?
22nd February 2008 at 10:42 pm | permalink |Have you ever noticed that the people that number 5 is directed at, also tend to completely over-exaggerate number 4? It's like they think that anal sex is going to cause a girl to take a massive shit all over you.
22nd February 2008 at 10:51 pm | permalink |Um Your a dumbass dude. You know nothing. Your like one of those know-it-all highschoolers who toss around the f bomb and rant about how drugs are good and God doesn't exist. get a life and YOU get a clue
22nd February 2008 at 10:51 pm | permalink |Dude you ROCK!!!! Thank Goodness someone brought this up. The only thing I have to disagree with you on is the being proud of your race. It was not just a "cosmic lottery" that a baby is born a certain color or what have you. There is a thing called genetics that plays a HUGE part. Being proud of being German, English, Puerto Rican, Mexican, Canadian, etc. is not wrong and should be encourage. Being a racist bigot is wrong and narrow minded but being proud of your heritage and customs is a good thing. Just my two sense. All in all good article!
22nd February 2008 at 11:05 pm | permalink |somehow I've always been lucky with the anal sex.
22nd February 2008 at 11:07 pm | permalink |@Alpha
3. I always wonder about where to draw the line on this one. On an entirely cognitive level I entirely agree with your statements. However, due to a lack of diversification in my upbringing (our highschool had only a single african american student) I found my experience with handling culural race stereotypes lacking. If a man dresses like a thug mother-fucker (which people of any race can do), do I need to ignore this just because he is of a particular race? Would that be reverse discrimination against the other races? If I entirely ignore the entire concept of race, I am often put in a position that would imply I am racist due to misconceptions about cultural values which I can only overcome by thinking each situation through and acting appropriately. If I may act un-bias through effort, does that make me racist when I can't get my coffee and I'm too tired to react normally?
5. HA! All the retards that responded to your post with homophobia were hillarious. Men like me would like to pretend our anuses have no sexual connotation, but are more than willing to pound a girl's. En-garde!
7. I've decided that I'm going to create a cult based on loose interpretations of the bible that switch around the literal meanings. For instance, hopefully the ancient Hebrew word for 'pray' is close to 'fuck like mad rabbits'. Or maybe I can smear a couple priceless documents to make the word 'sin' show up as 'not playing [video] games'; the obvious misinterpretation was that ancient cultures could not comprehend the higher language of the one when he was dictating to Moses about the 'holy spirit' of Chrono Trigger (And mana isn't bread either you bastards!) In my cult the world was created in 7 milliseconds…why would I worship something that can't work faster that my visual studio compiler?
@Lol, do people still use the word faggot? I mentally replace all words by fucktards who use that with "wa wa waa wuh wa" from Charlie Brown cartoons and then end their sentence for them mentally with "I da interolerent idiot". You're probably the retard that thinks there is something magic about marriage that can only be between different genders. Nature made us to be man and woman…well fuck Nature, I get 8 hours of sunlight a year and I don't miss it a beat. Stop being what we were created for, since that is unknown and start living like a thinking breathing individual who understands other individuals may do the same.
22nd February 2008 at 11:12 pm | permalink |@adam
I think she was making the point that 'pride' in the overzealous and agressive instance is generally the cause of all intolerance. Though you'd have to ask her specifically.
22nd February 2008 at 11:14 pm | permalink |I loved this list. I also thought it was interesting how many comments addressed you as male. Examples include "You, sir, are a hero", "you got talent, brother", and "well said, my man".
22nd February 2008 at 11:15 pm | permalink |Seriously though, i agree with every single one of these points. Way to go.
I believe in evolution and I'm religious. Why? Because my Lord is The Evolver, The Maker, and The Creator. He is The Self-Subsisting, The One who remains and does not end. He is The Source of All Goodness, The Righteous, The One who is kind to His creatures, who covered them with His sustenance and specified whoever He willed among them by His support, protection, and special mercy. These are the attributes of my Lord.
Yeah we have fossils and we have carbon dating. None of that can rule out the existence of God. Think about it.
It's 2008! And it's time to ask yourself 'which is it of the favors of your Lord do ye deny?'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXdfmhJerG4
email me back!
22nd February 2008 at 11:17 pm | permalink |@J: "I like how you say you are against racism but then go on to promote drugs and bash the religious." AFAIK, pot smoking athiests are still allowed to be anti-racist. And there are an awful lot of racist religious people out there …
@jim: "sorry America is #1" Oh shit. You're right. I take it back.
@jm4847: "Would you say the same about blacks proud of their culture or feminists …" Actually, I did mention black pride. How's them reading comprehension skills doin'?
@Raven: "Just curious though…. how dose one "gracefully suggest" the use of an anal douche?!?" I don't really know. But I figure if a guy's sticking his dick up a woman's ass, they ought to be able to talk about it. heh
@Jesse James: That pointy white hood fit you pretty well?
@Wow.: "I laughed up until the creationism part." Ah well, can't please all the people all the time.
@(cutaia): "Have you ever noticed that the people that number 5 is directed at, also tend to completely over-exaggerate number 4?" Good point. :-)
@Adam: "It was not just a "cosmic lottery" that a baby is born a certain color or what have you. There is a thing called genetics that plays a HUGE part." Yes, there is a thing called genetics, and neither you nor I had any control of the genetics we were born with. Therefore, it falls under the "things you have no control over" category that I'm referring to.
@Autodidact: I don't think you ever need to ignore the way a person chooses to appear or behave … it's just the whole "skin color" thing I think needs to be thrown out the window. And when you start your "fuck like mad rabbits" cult, let me know, I want to promote it. :-)
22nd February 2008 at 11:17 pm | permalink |I agree with a lot of what you say, but disagree with the anger and way you say it. I don't believe in creationism, but I know a lot of people who do, in fact some incredibly smart people, they just decide to believe in something I don't. I feel a lot of this post is very closed minded, in the veil of being anti-conformist, I'm sensing your either in High school or not far from it, I used to think like you, then I grew up and I'm much more happy. You can't stop people from being stupid, and the sooner you learn that the faster you'll be more happy with your own life.
not trying to be mean just honest.
22nd February 2008 at 11:19 pm | permalink |truer words can't be spoken.
i'd like to *conversate with you…
*converse? (sorry, i speak english quite well, but it's not my first language)
22nd February 2008 at 11:23 pm | permalink |@Wow
If you are a Christain or a Catholic (Which I'm guessing due to your anger at the creationist comments), then you might remember that Pride is considered one of the 7 deadly sins. There might be nothing morally wrong with having pride in the U.S. (though I certainly don't right now), but Dante says your ass will burn in sulpher…have a good one.
22nd February 2008 at 11:25 pm | permalink |@Jesse James
you really should study up on your history, yes, I'll admit crime is disproportionate among Black people, and that alot of black children grow up without a father, but if you would take a look at the past you would realize it's our (white people) ancestors that are at fault. Slavery had the unfortunate side effect of breaking up family's instilling a mother only tradition, as well as white slave owners killing off any African smart enough to escape, virtually keeping the race 'strong and stupid', so next time you get angry with black people acting like a 'thug' then send a good ole' fuck you to your great grand father.
oh, and your a racist prick.
22nd February 2008 at 11:33 pm | permalink |@the_oni
Nice point,
I've also kind of believed (perhaps even unfounded) that the quasi-heirachical flow of money in our country tends to keep the very poor and poorly educated on the same path as their parents…ad nauseum.
22nd February 2008 at 11:38 pm | permalink |@sw: I didn't say anything about there being no god (because I have no way of knowing). I said the world wasn't created in 6 days. We don't technically disagree at all. :-)
@the oni: I'm nowhere near high school, actually … nor am I particularly angry. Thanks for being civil though! (And yes, I would have to agree: "Upward mobility" is largely a myth for most people in the US. White and black alike.)
22nd February 2008 at 11:38 pm | permalink |@Autodidact
you would be correct sir/madam, don't get me wrong, I in no way support any redistribution of wealth, and am highly critical of the current welfare state, (you wanna get paid, get a job) but I do understand it is difficult to escape the bonds of poverty, and do support any way to help people become educated and improve their own station in life. I just don't believe in giving prosperity away. for example, you want a collage education so you can get a well paying job? I will give you money out of my pocket to help you pay for it, but I will be damned before I give someone a free meal. as the old saying goes, give a man a fish feed him for a day, teach a man to fish feed him for a life time, I prefer to teach, not give.
@Alphabitch,
22nd February 2008 at 11:48 pm | permalink |I apologize, the post just seemed angsty, either way, I choose to not fret over stupid people, and only associate with the rest of us.
@the oni
I could not agree with your assertation more. I was merely stating what I veiwed to be a synergistic effect on the plight of the poor. I know some who would scoff at the chance of learning to fish (…instead having a taste for EBT cards). If I knew the answer I would be preaching it loud.
I kind of liked Ron Paul's views on monetary policy (which in technical terms are basically a non-policy), which focused on free market supply and demand, but I wouldn't know if such a change would even help. It's hard to argue semantics without being an expert.
22nd February 2008 at 11:58 pm | permalink |I think some of your ideas are seriously ill considered. Aside from race, gender and nationality things like intelligence, strength, wealth and other accidents of birth significantly affect one's capacity to be a "successful individual."
Further, prescribing a simple aculturalism suggests that the solution to persistent problems of race, culture and religion in our society is to merely ignore them. While this would, perhaps, make things better… I should think there's also a good chance it would further exacerbate existing discrepancies in opportunity and perception.
The lesson here, I think, is that the total independence of the individual from accidents of birth and society is a myth. To suggest that ignoring some of these aspects of the individual creates a "pure" self, unadulterated by outside influence does not permit a clear view of the complexities that unavoidably define our society.
23rd February 2008 at 12:02 am | permalink |@the oni: No offense taken. :-) Ranting helps me not be so angry actually … it's kind of a hobby. I used to just do it verbally, at my friends, but I figured why let them be the only ones suffering through it? ;-)
And I'd like to take a moment to thank you and Autodidact for actually having an INTELLIGENT exchange in my comments. It's very refreshing. :-)
23rd February 2008 at 12:08 am | permalink |Dude this shit is fucking great
23rd February 2008 at 12:22 am | permalink |I'm gonna show my kids this before their next beating
@Alpha,
Oftentimes I have the same desire to rant. I would describe the aggression expulsion as somewhat cathartic.
It was fun talking with the oni, he appears to be a cheerful ol'e cunt.
23rd February 2008 at 12:27 am | permalink |@pablo
Remember, the bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child"…give em hell!
(actually child abuse makes me sick, i'm just a cynical ass).
23rd February 2008 at 12:29 am | permalink |@autodidact: Typical response. I'll bet you think you're some sort of smartass for suggesting that I'm going to hell over my pride of being a U.S. citizen? Nice try, but I'm pretty sure when my time comes, the good will outweigh the bad. Nobody is perfect. All that is asked of me is that I be a good person and lead a good life, which I have done so far. Too many people view the 7 sins and virtues as a "checklist" to get into heaven when really, it's not anywhere close.
23rd February 2008 at 12:29 am | permalink |@ryan: I'm not suggesting that anyone exists separate from their "accidents of birth" … That's clearly not possible.
I'm just suggesting that people should not be judged because of physical traits they can do nothing about.
23rd February 2008 at 12:30 am | permalink |As a great man once said, "There are no bad words. Only bad intentions."
Would Digg this, but Digg is like an old shed. Full of tools, all of them rusty and useless.
23rd February 2008 at 12:31 am | permalink |@autodidact: I think it might be a good thing if more people felt justified in ranting as much as people like Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter … only from a somewhat less right-wing-jackasstic point of view. :-) They make the mistake of assuming they're right because they're loudest …
@everyone: *yawn* It's late … I'm off to bed. No doubt with a huge backlog of comments to deal with in the am. Stay tuned! :=D
23rd February 2008 at 12:33 am | permalink |Decent list, but you come off as kind of an elitist..as if the things that you think MUST be true and there's no possible way you could be wrong about anything. Re-read this list 10 years from now and see if you still feel the same, I think you'll be surprised.
23rd February 2008 at 12:40 am | permalink |@Wow,
Actually, I sincerely hope God does exist in the belived instance in which he is praised.
I wasn't being a smartass by bringing up the sin of pride, I only meant to show the slight hypocrysy of bashing a girl for disliking pride while simultaneously trenchantly defending a viewpoint (religion) that traditionally values humility (in the face of god, for instance) above many other virtues. I find that kind of shit hillarious, and I'm just weird. Sorry if I offended you.
I used to study the bible, I was taken to talk-in-tounges fucking churches when I was younger. I'm such a damn cynic now that I have a hard time believing that God DOESN'T exist. I've conviced myself that he created the world 20,000 years ago, aged the world several billion years, created man, and hid a bunch of freaking fossils all over the world…created the fucking mess that religion is now, just so he could watch us bicker and fight like some overgrown god damn (ooops, ironic) sea monkey tank. He's then going to collapse the whole thing on itself and reblow it up so that he can watch it again. I can't come up with many other reasons for the current state of the world in comparison to religion, other than that it (religion) was made up by humans and we're all batshit and no-one knows what is happening and all our morals are based on dead fogoes from whenever.
23rd February 2008 at 12:50 am | permalink |I dont have time to discuss all your points, but saying you don't have a right to be proud of your country is wrong. Tells a lot about the author, as does your last item on the list.
23rd February 2008 at 1:06 am | permalink |dear miss potty mouth,
south africa is #1 in gun deaths by a LONG way - the US is #8.
http://nationmaster.com
if your going to rant like a newly intellectually liberated college student that just discovered the bell curve, you can at least do your homework. ;-)
23rd February 2008 at 1:29 am | permalink |Number 8 is my favourite!
23rd February 2008 at 2:01 am | permalink |-America is #1 in GDP
-Also the poverty rates you refer to are measured in relative terms instead of absolute terms. This means if Microsoft stock goes up (causing Bill Gates to become richer) then somehow we will have more poor people according to the stat you referenced.
Don't get me wrong the US is bad a lot of things but economically we are still a powerhouse. We have been at the very top of GDP per capita (PPP) for large countries for a very long time with only very small countries pulling ahead from time to time (such as Luxembourg)
Oh an incidently we are not #1 in handgun deaths, at least not per person:
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/mor_han_dis_percap-mortality-handgun-discharge-per-capita
23rd February 2008 at 2:25 am | permalink |@clay: Well, if I were, theoretically, writing with the intent of getting a reaction out of people, I've succeeded, no? ;-) And yes, I do come off as kind of an elitist anyhow.
@Autodidact: I once wrote a (lousy) short story explaining how Earth was just a kid's science project … except I don't think the kid's name was "God".
@everyone, Re: handgun deaths. My bad … it was actually in college that I'd heard we were #1 in handgun related deaths. Didn't look it up to double check yesterday. Will correct that point. Thanks!
@mathemagician: GDP … yeah. I'll have to do a post about my crackpot economic ideas sometime. ;-)
… and now, dammit, I really AM going to sleep.
23rd February 2008 at 2:48 am | permalink |@ everyone: Actually, I think I may not change the handgun post after all … seems it depends on which chart you look at: http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/mor_han_dis-mortality-handgun-discharge
23rd February 2008 at 2:53 am | permalink |the internet is not a good place to bitch and rant. stop typing and start doing. typing this and speaking aloud are different things. I actually hope the world is coming to an end. We didnt use the physical world like we should have.
23rd February 2008 at 3:23 am | permalink |[...] http://www.f-ckingc-nts.com/ramble/10-things-every-adult-should-know [...]
23rd February 2008 at 3:23 am | trackback from Please read this … « UmairThe Theory of Evolution states that modern man evolved from the ape family. This can not be verified as the 'missing link' has not as yet been found. There is no conclusive evidence to prove that man evolved from apes. Footprints of modern man have been found side by side with dinosaur tracks. Archeological evidence exists that contradicts this theory of 'the origin of man'. Modern human artifacts have been found in all layers of geological strata some going back hundreds of millions of years. These artifacts prove that modern man may be millions of years older than history tells us.
(4.1 million years to be exact)
23rd February 2008 at 3:52 am | permalink |I view myself as a alternative Christian. It saddens me that the Christians you have run into in life have made you this angry. Most of them are well intentioned, just seriously misguided. Christianity has nothing to do with your normal churchgoer.
23rd February 2008 at 4:00 am | permalink |Brilliant! Number #8 - "You have no right to be proud, unless you did it yourself" is ingenious. I've never thought about it that way, but it's so true. Of course, I'm not against people being patriotic - as long as they're going about it in a good-natured way, aren't trying to stuff it in your face or acting as though they attained their nationality through their own means (which was your point). It's not like people these days are inventing a new way of life or laying the foundations of a culture or nation. It's all been done, and we're just living in the shadows and following the footsteps of our forefathers, etc. Thank you for making this point so clear, alphabitch.
23rd February 2008 at 4:29 am | permalink |Self-important diggbait tripe. D+
23rd February 2008 at 4:36 am | permalink |pretty good job. not 100%, but since you appear to be an american, you're at a disadvantage from the get. nice to see that some of you are able to stop watching nascar and develop some common sense. cheers.
ps - one thing i have noticed over the past year or so is the sheer volume of hate speech coming from american teenagers. i've never seen anything quite like it. it's disgusting.
23rd February 2008 at 4:37 am | permalink |I WANT EVERYONE TO BACK TRACK TO JESSE JAMES ABOVE COMMENT, AND READ CAREFULLY WHAT HE WROTE! MYSELF BEING AN UPSTATE NEW YORKER AND WATCHING MY LOCAL NEWSPAPER. I DEAL WITH THE PROBLEMS FROM THE POST! JESSE TELLS THE TRUTH!I CANT GO TO MY LOCAL SHOPPING MALL WITH OUT SEEING AT LEAST 2 OR MORE POLICE CRUISERS WITH BLACKS BEING ARRESTED FOR VIOLENCE, STEALING OR DRUG DEALING.
23rd February 2008 at 4:42 am | permalink |-Africans have pride, Black americans have hangups-
#2 is right, I wanted my ears pierced at age 16, couldnt have it done cos mommy and daddy 'said so', apparently only women and gays get pierced, my dad will hire anyone but not if they got their ears pierced, stupid 50's throwback that he is. Well.. I got them pierced, and my nose, when I moved out, and guess what? They can be removed for job interviews, so who's laughing now, lololol.
23rd February 2008 at 5:22 am | permalink |Altho the Union Jack tattoo on my face was probably a bad choice ;)
[...] February 23, 2008 at 10:06 am | Blogged, Effect - Posted by Sindhu | Add Your Comments Your parents fucked, Mom got knocked up, and ~9 months later, there you were. Race, gender and nationality handed to you out of some cosmic lottery machine. Fuck your white pride, black pride, national pride, and all the horseshit that goes along with it. From 10 Things Every Adult Should Know [...]
23rd February 2008 at 7:06 am | trackback from Sindhu-S.Com » Blog Archive » f*cking c*nts.comHaha wow. I wish I could post this all over my school…and town. Then maybe someone will FINALLY not be so ignorant. I highly doubt even thatwould happen.
But anyway, well written, I agree with them all. Haha. I'm not too aware about American policies or anything though, because I'm Canadian. Thats not much of an excuse though. Like on #2, yeah I have piercings and freaky hair, I love the looks you get from people walking by. I hate when people complain about when people give you glares. If you wanna be different, you'll have to suffer the consequences. And I do have a job. Go me! :D
Well written, and if you don't write more, I will be very very angry. :]
23rd February 2008 at 7:24 am | permalink |I have a new fascination. Amazingly accurate and perceptive. Yes, Virginia, Americans are also very stupid.
23rd February 2008 at 7:52 am | permalink |You fucken rock.. Its nice to know that I am not the only person out there who thinks like that, very well said.
I was feeling a little down,I got this link from a friend, not only did it put a genuine smile on my face but made me feel human.
23rd February 2008 at 8:22 am | permalink |My only suggestion would be increase your list to inculde that when a person moves from one country to another they should learn the native tongue and adapt to that way of living instead of trying to force a nation by some equal right act to change for you after all if the country you came from was so great you wouldn't have left
23rd February 2008 at 8:22 am | permalink |Wonderful! :)
23rd February 2008 at 8:36 am | permalink |[...] Source: 10 Unfortunate Facts of Life | f*cking c*nts [...]
23rd February 2008 at 9:05 am | trackback from A page for randomness » 10 things every adult should knownice post
23rd February 2008 at 9:53 am | permalink |Being British, i may have missed the joke in the comments about British teeth.
Do we have really bad teeth then?
oh and i agree with your list. it made me smile.
23rd February 2008 at 10:27 am | permalink |And 99% of hard drug user, are smoking cigarettes and drinking booze…
23rd February 2008 at 10:28 am | permalink |[...] From f*cking c*nts. [...]
23rd February 2008 at 10:40 am | trackback from 10 Things Every Adult Should Know | A year in the (SEX) lifeBlack pride usually has more to do with being proud of your relatives for surviving *fucking slavery* dude.
So you can be proud of something you didn't do.
Keep generalizing, though. It gets traffic!
23rd February 2008 at 10:41 am | permalink |Weekend Roundup - Hope You Get Laid…
Pimps, players, chodes, and alpha bitchez. It’s the weekend, which means it’s time to spread the love. Here are the cool blogs & sites I unearthed this week plus my shamefully unapologetic kneejerk commentary. Have a wonderful weekend fukkers. …
23rd February 2008 at 11:00 am | trackback from Honey and LanceMostly I agree with you, except:
#7 I would suggest "Lee Strobel: The Case for Christ" written by an ex-atheist.
#10 There's a lot to fix in USA, but on my list is still #1. Yes, I been (and lived) in many countries.
23rd February 2008 at 11:27 am | permalink |Yes. Just all Yes.
23rd February 2008 at 11:33 am | permalink |Dildo in man's a** is soo gay. Otherwise, nice rant!
23rd February 2008 at 12:11 pm | permalink |No. 1 & no. 8 are great.
But no. 7 is opinion. Just because you phrase it to sound like a children's cartoon, does not strengthen your argument. I can do that for anyone's belief and make it sound silly. Here's a fact: after much thought, Einstein came to the conclusion that there was a God. Was he stupid?
23rd February 2008 at 12:14 pm | permalink |So true. Sad that you have to remind them.
23rd February 2008 at 12:43 pm | permalink |Great list!
23rd February 2008 at 1:09 pm | permalink |Wow, this rocked the house. Kudos on your site and your style and telling it like it is. I write myself and I HAVE to show you this article because it feels like we were on the exact same page, check it out: http://www.crotchmail.com/?p=185
23rd February 2008 at 1:27 pm | permalink |thanks so much for writing, keep it up!
I wonder how old all of you are…old enough to know about life???
23rd February 2008 at 1:32 pm | permalink |…neway great piece …prolific…ranks up there with the greats..you should win an award for it..
Alpha, Though I did very much enjoy your article, or rant, or whatever I must call it… I disagree with 7.
23rd February 2008 at 1:37 pm | permalink |Your rant that Creationism can not be true illuminates that you might actually be more narrow-minded then you presume yourself to be. You state that we have fossils and carbon dating. However, many theories state that our Earth was once covered by a canopy of water. And scientist agree that this canopy could have easily messed with our carbon dating. BUT! I won't even argue that point with you because I do, in fact, believe this earth to be as old as most evolutionists believe (If you ever decide to rip into the timing of creationism again try citing an astronomer on the date and expansion of our universe). I also believe in evolution as a way to get to where we are at now. However, that doesn't remove a creator from the picture.
And, being as egotistical as I am… I would suggest you tone down the attack on creationism and change it to something more on the lines of "look guys, Creationism might be right, might be wrong… however… you have your dates fucked up."
23rd February 2008 at 1:43 pm | permalink |@random reader: "the internet is not a good place to bitch and rant. stop typing and start doing." Movements start with conversation, and the internet is a perfect place to have a conversation with a whole fucking lot of people … who's to say I, or anyone else reading and commenting here, isn't doing?
@Unchurced Christian: "Christianity has nothing to do with your normal churchgoer." I couldn't agree more. One of my favorite bumperstickers ever read "Jesus, please save me from your followers." :-)
@The Heed: "[piercings] can be removed for job interviews, so who's laughing now, lololol." True enough … so long as you're not one of those people who gets their facial/ear piercings stretched up to huge gauge plugs …
@Aimee wrote: "… and if you don't write more, I will be very very angry. :]" Thanks. Promise I won't quit any time soon. ;-)
@grey: "… when a person moves from one country to another they should learn the native tongue and adapt to that way of living …" Yeah, I'd have to agree there.
@bill: "Being British, i may have missed the joke in the comments about British teeth. Do we have really bad teeth then?" Well, your society doesn't seem obsessed with braces and tooth bleaching, fwiw.
@chewbee: "Black pride usually has more to do with being proud of your relatives for surviving *fucking slavery* dude." And what the fuck does that have to do with you, pray tell?
@pd: "Here's a fact: after much thought, Einstein came to the conclusion that there was a God. Was he stupid?"
23rd February 2008 at 2:35 pm | permalink |@Enigma: "I also believe in evolution as a way to get to where we are at now. However, that doesn't remove a creator from the picture."
See, everyone keeps missing this: I didn't say anything about whether or not there's a God.
There are 2 type of "Creationits".
One who thinks "created in 6 days" should be taken literally, and one who read the Bible, especially the part that says our "one day" is not the same as God's (2 Peter 3:8).
So for the 2nd (not so vocal) group Bible and Evolution is not exclusive, they just don't believe in "all this is just luck" theory.
23rd February 2008 at 2:47 pm | permalink |You sound rather arrogant and may I add… gay.
Maybe you're an arrogant gay black guy? ;P
23rd February 2008 at 2:58 pm | permalink |[...] 23, 2008 A great article listing 10 unfortunate facts of life/10 things every adult should know. Posted by brandonblattner Filed in Fancy Tickling, Hot Shit, Learning, [...]
23rd February 2008 at 3:04 pm | trackback from Saturday Links « Blogbdon: The Don of all Blogs@cs: Well, I'd say that group #2 isn't who I'm talking to then. :-)
23rd February 2008 at 3:09 pm | permalink |You sir, should run for President. And I'm not even American. Christ, Run for Prime Minister over here if you want. You'll be better than the useless fucks we have here.
23rd February 2008 at 3:29 pm | permalink |alphabitch you make me happy. You'll never know me, but we should meet sometime. and then I would say that your list of realistic or would you say mu
23rd February 2008 at 3:36 pm | permalink |Quite possibly the best blog post I have ever read. Straight and to the point, the best kind of post.
23rd February 2008 at 3:50 pm | permalink |So how old are you, like, 12?
23rd February 2008 at 3:51 pm | permalink |Wow Alpha, you've definitely hit the big time! Peter Gabriel would be proud.
Nice little ditty here. As normal, I'm in agreement with the vast majority of what you've got here. I'll toss in two disagreements.
1) While I agree that racism is outdated, I'm afraid that the need to be PC is too overriding in today's society. If we take the 'Do not offend anyone because of x, y & z' to it's extreme, then we're giving away much of our personal freedom of expression. Now I'm talking primarily here about satire or comedy related uses of stereotypes, provocative names, etc. Can you imagine half the stand up if we couldn't say shit about people and the categories they fit into? Even farther out there, if all this is taboo, then we of course would have never had the Mohammad cartoon issue, because no one would have published something that was so controversial.
2) I have to disagree with the whole pride thing. While one should be the most proud about one's own accomplishments, I don't think it's wrong to be proud of your family, your history or your heritage. Of course, I could say this because I have both legs tattooed with coats of arms from ancestors on both sides of the family, but whatever! At it's most direct level, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with a child being proud of their parents and their parent's accomplishments, so long as they don't attempt to adopt them as their own accomplishments.
23rd February 2008 at 4:00 pm | permalink |[...] 10 Unfortunate Facts of Life Here's 10 things every adult really ought to know, but a lot of people are apparently just too f*cking stupid to figure out: (tags: america blogs god funny humour life sex psychology list blog humor) [...]
23rd February 2008 at 4:31 pm | trackback from it’s about time» Blog Archive » links for 2008-02-23I agree with you 90%. I think (and this is my own opinion so I hope some crazy ass-hole doesn't go nuts on me for thinking)… anyways, I think the part about the magic guy in the sky is ummm kinda sorta maaaybee possible. I can't think of how things were created in the first place. Do you think that the world was just here all along? I don't wanna hear "Oh the big-bang theory" or whatever. How was space here for the earth to be in it? how can you percieve things? Like I said this is just my idea. I think that without someone to give us perception and to give us "space" to put our world in we wouldn't be here. I don't think you would have your fossils if there wasn't someone/something to create that matter in the first place. Anyhow, awesome little piece you wrote up. Holla back, ninja!
23rd February 2008 at 4:44 pm | permalink |really? seems to me you kind of do. "Creationism is bullshit" :-)
23rd February 2008 at 4:47 pm | permalink |If creationism is bullshit, then there would obviously be no reason for a creator. Aka, no God.
(I am guessing what you are trying to say is that the literal translation of "6 days poof!" is wrong?)
So really, I'm just commenting on your wording. Just trying to crtique it a bit.
AMEN.
23rd February 2008 at 6:23 pm | permalink |Love it. Reminds me of the "Bill of Non-Rights" presented by a senator from Georgia a while back. Stuff like "you don't have a right to a job". Only two things I'd add/modify:
2. You missed the #1 most important reason why someone doesn't have a right to a job no matter how they look. BECAUSE EMPLOYERS HAVE FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION TOO! You can express yourself however the F*** you want. And so can your employer. That includes deciding not to hire someone with a basketball hoop in their nose.
8) I have to disagree with one part. I am proud to be an American - and I would agree that I didn't do anything to become one. But my pride is based in a philosophical understanding of the principles on which this country was founded, and atrue heart-felt belief that I would stand for those rights to my last breath. It's not the COUNTRY that I'm proud of - it's the philosophy and the way of life that I - PERSONALLY - believe in.
In that sense, I guess you could say I "own" it.
23rd February 2008 at 6:58 pm | permalink |Of course god doesn’t exist - he was made up a long time ago by people wondering in the desert - wondering why the fuck they were wondering in the desert.
These people didn't even have flush toilets so their views on the nature of the universe can be taken with a pinch of salt…
If you don’t agree with me I will set my imaginary friend on you!
23rd February 2008 at 6:58 pm | permalink |@Critic: "Maybe you're an arrogant gay black guy?" No, I'm an arrogant straight white chick.
@Roriniho: "Christ, Run for Prime Minister over here if you want." hehehe … You don't have any citizenship requirements for that? Cool!
@Ira: "So how old are you, like, 12?" 33, actually.
@Eric: "… I'm afraid that the need to be PC is too overriding in today's society." I completely agree. But the person who inspired that point was in no way using any of her racist terminology or thinking in a satirical or ironic manner. It made me rather ill.
@CreamSteve: How was everything set in motion to begin with? I have no idea. maybe it's all some big domino set-up, and the magic guy in the sky knocked the first one over? *shrug* I just think Genesis is a fairy tale, and shouldn't be taught in schools as if it were a legitimate scientific theory.
@Enigma: Maybe one of these days I'll do a post attempting to explain my views on religion. Seems like it'd be a popular one. ;-)
@Kevin M: "… It's not the COUNTRY that I'm proud of - it's the philosophy and the way of life that I - PERSONALLY - believe in." Well, I'd have to agree with that. But I don't feel anything that I'd describe as "pride" about it. Great respect, strong agreement and support, sure. Pride? Nope.
@CallMeAl: "If you don’t agree with me I will set my imaginary friend on you! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Please! Have mercy on a poor heathen!
23rd February 2008 at 9:34 pm | permalink |Brava!
23rd February 2008 at 10:11 pm | permalink |Ain't the internet great? 10 years ago the godless, valueless Left was anonymous, but now they expose themselves on sites like this for the whole country to see just what the cat drug in. And they think everyone thinks the same way!Keep it up guys, so the other 95% can see what we're up against !
23rd February 2008 at 10:39 pm | permalink |"Anal sex does not make you gay…. You're not gay. You know why? Because you want to be assfucked by a girl, not a boy. That's what the whole "gay" thing is about: Liking boys instead of girls. Anal sex is irrelevant."
HAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH tells you alot about the author if this. Sorry charlie, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this one. If you want to get "assfucked" and you are a guy then not only are you gay, you're a disgusting pervert loser and a total friggin weirdo.
Some of the other things made sense. Creationism is a sham, though it served a purpose for a long time.
As for America not being number 1, I think the examples that you listed actually goes to show that a bigger government is clearly not the solution to our problems since we keep sliding as their programs keep expanding.
23rd February 2008 at 11:37 pm | permalink |Something else everyone should know is that their viewpoint is not a collection of facts (or "things") everyone should wholeheartedly embrace (or "know").
Some of what is here is a "fact" (sex from pregnancy), but a lot of it is actually opinion. You can get a few hundred people who nod their heads and agree with you and that will make you feel smug and self-assured, but you're still all just subscribers to the same world-view and it's pretty meaningless.
The interesting thing is that Americans are all about equality and n